Again and again, our research and interviews document that board members and senior executives do not receive efficient feedback on their performance. Most people find giving and receiving feedback unpleasant, and many are unsure how to do it well, so we tend to avoid it.
Why this matters more than we like to admit
Still, others’ perceptions of us exist whether we talk about them or not, and they shape decisions and outcomes every day. Learning about those perceptions may save us years of ineffective behavior and, in some cases, even our jobs.
Short on time? Here is a feedback structure that actually works
As most executives and non-executive directors are pressed for time, here is a short, practical framework to help make feedback clearer, safer, and more actionable.
- Observation
State your factual observation without judgment or interpretation. Never label a person. Example: “In yesterday’s meeting, you interrupted me three times while I was explaining the budget.” Avoid mixing observation with judgment, such as “You were disrespectful.” - Feeling
Share how you feel in response to what you observed. Example: “I felt frustrated and discouraged.” Stay on your side of the net and avoid disguised judgments like “I feel that you don’t respect me.” - Need
Name the need behind your feeling. Example: “I need space to explain my rationale behind the budget so everyone has the full picture before I open for comments and questions.” Do not turn needs into demands, such as “I need you to stop interrupting me.” Needs explain why you feel as you do, not what the other person should do. - Request
Make a specific and actionable request. Example: “Would you be willing to let me finish my points before responding in meetings?” Avoid statements like “I expect you to stop doing this.” If no is not a legitimate option, it is a demand, not a request.
Final thought
When feedback is factual, human, and actionable, it stops being a threat and becomes one of the most powerful performance tools leaders have. And when someone offers you feedback, even if it is imperfect or uncomfortable, it is usually worth meeting it with curiosity and gratitude. Giving feedback takes courage, and more often than not, the intention is to help us see what we cannot see ourselves.
If you want to explore how to build healthier feedback cultures at the board or executive level, you are welcome to contact us.
Interested in self-evaluation? Try Online Board Evaluations
Well-aligned with national corporate and foundation/charity governance codes, our board clients usually conduct an external board evaluation every three years. However, most national governance codes recommend that boards perform a self-evaluation in the years between external board evaluations. Therefore, we have developed OnlineBoardEvaluations.com, a tool enabling boards to self-evaluate effectively and effortlessly every year.